But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I think I sprained my soul last night
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
