i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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