they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
