Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
