THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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