The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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