I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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