Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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