so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
