Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
