I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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