Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
