Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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