just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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