first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
