So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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