What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
