Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
