I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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