My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
