I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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