i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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