I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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