Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
