So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
