Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
