I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
