i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
