Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I looked at my own cervix.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
