i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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