i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
