you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
