Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
