Small penises have feelings too.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
