a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
