Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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