The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
