i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
