That's when you crack a 10am beer
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
