Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
