1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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