Old men and throwing up are my life now.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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