Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
