I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
