why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
