I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
