Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
