I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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