my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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