Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
