I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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