How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Small penises have feelings too.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
