i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
