I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
