return my video game
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
